I was top off by saying I am very scientific person. I do not believe in spiritual forces. Universal Energy maybe ( to be explained by strung theory, mind you) but nothing that I can’t see or doesn’t have a scientific explanation. I don’t even believe in God for the same reason.
I hope that clears my standpoint on things that are not logical like sunsigns or destiny or Luck. See that capitalisation? It’s not random.I do not believe that such a thing as luck exists
except I do now.
See, I have been a clumsy person all my life and my parents never gave me much freedom to get some real harm done, so I thought I got hit and fell down all the time because I was clumsy and that summarised all my childhood problems and there was that.
But I am a fully functional adult now with real freedom and chance at having real fun except I rarely can. My bad luck has a nasty habit of coming in the way.
Everytime that I do anything even remotely resembling fun, the thought only has to enter my mind ‘This was a good time’ and life will push the fuck over button.
At the beginning , being the person of almost no self worth as I am, I thought that this was all my fault but I thought how come when my friends did the same things that I did, did so without any karma hit back from the universe whereas I only had to forget to put on a helmet once and get paralyzed for life from neck down only 3 mins after starting driving (metaphorically of course, I have never not worn a helmet, I am NOT giving the universe a chance)
They said I had bad luck and I refused to believe it.
I decided to extra careful and do things right but the Universe does not mess around when it “blesses” someone with bad luck.
Shit got real when I did things with extra precautions and still got screwed while my friends walked away with the most reckless (and awesomely fun) things with no repercussions.
As a person who has been struggling with depression and low self esteem for quite sometime my mind also had the much fun idea of toying around with the idea that I probably deserve all the bad luck and no fun theme party that has been going on because of who I am as person.
That my friends is when things get really bad
So to avoid all the questioning and evaluation of self worth that comes along with the wonderful set of coincidences which are happening to me because there is a one millionth of a chance that they can, I have decided to name it as bad luck and move on.
It is so much easier to accept and has made life much simpler.
I also seem to find comfort in the fact that bad luck has made life simpler, easier and more happier. It gives me a fake sense of control over of my life( much needed by the way).
It’s also like the last ironical punch in bad luck’s face.
(Please the universe, nothing I said here was meant to be taken as a challenge. Especially not the last line. Okay? Okay.)